Okay, before my story I have to say, I am posting this picture at my own risk to go along with my story. I was thinking of posting it in my regular Wednesday post but decided not to for fear someone might think I look pregnant. (if you did don't say so in my comments PLEASE!) I'm NOT pregnant and this picture wasn't taken when I was, it was taken last Sunday. I have the unfortunate pleasure of carrying all my post baby body changes in my tummy area (its hereditary my mom tells me all the time). Now....read on and you'll see why I decided to post this picture at my own risk.
I had an "Ah-Ha" Moment tonight, at least I think that is what you would call it - well, I think that is what Oprah calls it! I was going into my closet and a pair of jeans stuffed in a box in the back caught my eye. I knew what they were of course, and that they didn't fit, but I pulled them out anyway. They were the jeans that I wore before getting pregnancy with Isabella. The same jeans that I wore in our engagement pictures. At that time (engagement) I was a size 6, possibly an even perfect size 6. A comfortable size 6, nothing was too snug and no rolls hung over, I looked good and felt good in my size 6's.
So then we got married and over the first year I probably put on about 10 lbs, give or take a few. I could still wear my 6's, a bit snug but wore them still and still looked pretty okay in them. Then comes baby number 1 and number 2 both via c-section. (I'll just call them #1 and #2 so I don't have to type out names and you don't get confused with age order) With #1 I gained 50lbs, yep, I said it - 50lbs! By the time I got pregnant with #2 I had lost all but 7lbs of my 50lb weight gain. Thankfully with #2 I only gained 18lbs, big difference I know and they were both 8lbs(+) babies. Within 3 days of having #2 I had lost all 18lbs and then some.
As I sit here and type I now weigh exactly the same as I did before getting pregnant with #1. However, some body shifting has occurred with each pregnancy. Mine is mostly in the tummy region, so much so that at times, depending on what I'm wearing I may look pregnant enough for someone to ask me when my baby is due. (a very distressing question to a NON-pregnant person...my advise NEVER ask that question until that person has confirmed to you -without your questioning- that they are indeed pregnant.)
Anyway...on to my "ah-ha" moment and the jeans. So here I stood in my bathroom holding a size 6 jean up to my size 10 body. (I'm admitting alot here - size and all) Knowing it wouldn't fit, I decided to see how much my body has changed by trying to squeeze it into them. I am proud to say that the legs still fit just like I remember them before. Not tight, just right. But the bum, hips and waist are another issue entirely! And then I realized something. I hear size 6 and size 10 and I think of a huge difference in sizes and in women, but in reality a size 10 is just a 3 maybe 4 inch difference than a 6. I would say in order to button those jeans I would need a 2.5 to 3 inch loss in my waist. Really that isn't alot. 3 inches? Its not THAT big of difference.
So what did I do? I went out and ran. Really, I did. Those who know me and know I hate to exercise might not believe me, but its the truth!
I didn't run b/c 3 inches would be easy to lose, but I ran b/c I gained more confidence in myself. I ran b/c I realized that I may not be able to completely change some of the weight shifting my body has done since having children, but I can tone muscles and pull my tummy bulge in some. I may lose weight, I might not - I may even gain some if I gain enough muscle. It doesn't matter, b/c although we obsess over sizes, they really only differ by a few inches. What matters is that we're healthy and happy.
I realized that I could be perfectly happy with my new body at a size 10 if I just toned it up a bit. B/c honestly, with the body shifting I'm not sure a size 6 is possible again, maybe an 8, but that isn't what matters. For some reason I've been staying inside and not working out b/c I wasn't happy with my body. Does that make sense?
So...I'm not making weight loss goals or anything, just work out goals. I'm not sure what they'll be yet, but right now I'm thinking that for as long as it is light enough outside to do so I will run each night after the girls get home (as long as Anthony's home studying of course) and after that when its too dark I'll use our recumbent bike. But from now on I'll do it for health, not size....after all, really - what is a couple of inches? Not to mention that I would never want to go back to my pre-babies body b/c I know, for me at least, that would mean living my pre-baby life again...and I couldn't bear to be without my babies.
~jen
2 comments:
I know what you mean. Most of my baby weight with Jake came off the first month, but the last 15 pounds took a while longer. I am not sure how long but I know it was well over a year. But my body is not the same. Everything kind of shifts around. I also carry my extra weight in the tummy area. So I understand your frustration.
Good luck with the running.
The sacrifices we make for our babies! They're so worth it though, aren't they? You're so brave to just lay it all out there like that, but you're absolutely right - what does it really matter as long as you're healthy and happy? Kudos to you for starting up an excercise routine. I keep looking for every excuse not to start one myself. "It's too hot outside" is the convenient one right now, and it's easy to say I'll start when the weather cools off because I know that's at least a month away. Well, our bodies may never be the same post-children, but at least we have realized the true purpose of our bodies by having done so. I'm much easier on myself now than I was pre-baby because of that realization and I'm so thankful for that. Now I'm more concerned about being healthy and passing that on to my children - NOT being skinny and fitting into my old jeans. Good luck with your efforts and hopefully your example will be a good motivator for me to stop procrastinating, so thanks for sharing.
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