Mom guilt (or dad's guilt). Have you heard of it? Have you had it? I think it comes in many forms. It can be the guilt a working mom has for leaving her child to go and provide for her family, it can come from not giving into every whim and whine of your child, and it can come from being too tired or too busy to make your child's day fun.
As I have mentioned MANY times (and yes I'm saying it again) this summer is extremely busy, crazy and stressful for our family. I am 37 weeks pregnant now and simple things like my weekly grocery shopping trip COMPLETELY wipe me out. My poor girl's have been suffering from this lack of energy. It wasn't so noticeable for a while b/c they were recovering from their surgeries but now that they're recovered I can see their getting annoyed with the lack of stimulating and fun activities being provided to them. So...here it is...story #1.
Last Thursday I went and ran errands all morning, girls in tow. After spending an hour and a half at Walmart to do grocery shopping and get a prescription (would have been faster but there was a problem with the prescription) I arrived home hot, sweaty, aching, shaking and exhausted. It took me a good hour (and a bowl of ice cream) to stop shaking and sweating and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch the rest of the afternoon. Around 3:30pm, after rest time, Isabella came up to me really sweetly and said, "Mommy will you please take us to the park?"
The park was the LAST place I wanted to be, and I didn't think I could handle it b/c my kids are not independent players, not to mention the fact that it was like 97 degrees and humid outside. I was still sore from my errands that morning and knew if I went to the park I would be past my limit and swollen beyond recognition! So I told her no, that mommy wasn't feeling well and I was sorry. Just about that time Natalie came up and repeated the question and I gave her the same answer. She promptly threw herself onto the floor screaming and crying for what seemed like 20 minutes about how Mommy wouldn't take them to the park.
See....bad parent #1.
Okay, onto story #2. (this is turning out to be longer than I anticipated...I'm so long winded!)
Everyone knows that Anthony is studying for the Bar exam. I can't wait for it is over (neither can he). Right now he goes to a class every week day for a half a day and then studies the rest of the day/night. So yesterday (Saturday) he was getting ready to go to the school to study. He had his backpack packed and asked me to quickly quiz him over a few charts from his book before he left, he was in a hurry because he was running a bit behind schedule.
As we were doing this the girls were in the living room coloring and playing. During the quizzing Natalie kept saying, "Daddy...come here!" Finally I stopped the quizzing so he could go and talk to her. When he got around the corner she had the Candy Land game out and she smiled really big at him and said, "Daddy - you play with me?!"
I know it broke his heart to say he had to go and study and couldn't stay and play. When he told her he couldn't she'd say, "No - you stay and play!" It really was heart breaking.
See....bad parent #2.
Now, I'm only kidding. I don't think Anthony is a bad parent in anyway - far from it. And I know that I was justified in telling them that I couldn't take them to the park but I just feel bad because I typically try to provide really fun activities its just that everything else is taking up our time and energy right now and my poor kids are left bored. Luckily in a week and a half Aunt Jeri and her kids will be here to save the day. They are coming to help the week the baby is born - mostly with entertaining the girls. Then after they leave Nana will be here to do the same. So...maybe they'll have a little fun this summer after all...no thanks to their 2 bad parents! :)
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