Stages of Motherhood

Warning - long post. Quite possibly random, but its been floating around in my brain. It may not even make sense when written out - so forgive me if it doesn't.

December 2003

September 2005

July 2008

Lately I have been contemplating my life as a mother, it is the one thing I have dreamed of being since I was a little girl. To be a mommy. As I have become a mother my life has changed - for the better and I have changed - hopefully for the better as well.

Motherhood is full of different stages. It seems to me that I have begun a new stage of motherhood with the birth of each of my children. First, becoming a mother and experiencing the love between a parent and child as the parent for the first time. Then we welcomed a second precious daughter into our family and I struggled to deal with life as a mother of two. Some days seemed almost endless and really struggled to find balance in my life. Then just as I was feeling comfortable and sane with two children the news came that our third child would soon join us.

Now I am a mother of 3. Three beautiful, precious, and amazing children I might add. Its almost unfathomable that I would be so blessed to have these children (and their dad) in my life and under my care. That being said, the birth Ethan has once again sent me into a new stage of motherhood. For me, despite the lack of house work getting done around here, the never ending piles of laundry and the challenges of juggling the needs of a time consuming infant, with an attention needing 3 year old as well as learning how to let go just a tiny bit to allow my eldest to be a big girl and start school, this stage been the best yet.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have days that I don't feel this way - just ask my neighbor Holly or my husband...I have days I need to vent, or days when I am short with my kids. We all have days, and I am personally working on this to try to have less of these.

But let me explain. I think maybe my perspective has changed. I think I am more willing to let go this time around. More willing to let the dishes pile so I can take a short nap with the kids, or put a project on hold so I can read books with the kids. I am more understanding that if I were to blink my eyes or look away for a what seems to be just a moment I might look back and find that Ethan would the 5 year old in the house, which would make Natalie 8 and Bella 11. I know now how short their first few years are because I have seen my first baby grow from infancy to a beautiful little girl who now leaves the house each day to go to school because she's 5 - she's growing up.

The need for me to be constantly progressing in the stages of motherhood sometimes leaves me clueless as to what I need to be doing, or longing to rewind and start a stage over again. Often times I find I come up short of what I expect of myself as a mother, but at least now I'm a little more forgiving and not so hard on myself when this happens. What I have learned, and what I think is helping me in my newest stage of motherhood, is to cherish each moment. I have learned to focus on what is most important in the long run, rather than the chores that seem to press on us mother's daily.

Another key thing I have learned is to stick together. I mean this in a few ways. First as a family. I feel it so important that my children, my husband and I all create and nurture loving relationships now. With the world as difficult as it is I know having the safety and support of their family with them always will be paramount in my children's successes. I also mean sticking together as mothers. We need each other. Because despite our moments of clarity about what is truly important and what we want for our children the world gets in the way, we have hard days and we need each other to help remind us of what we're really striving for. We need each other to look out for one another, and to look out for our children.

Motherhood is both wonderful and wonderfully hard. I look forward to each stage whether that means more children in the future or growing with the ones we already have. Nothing in my life brings me more joy than the three little people who call me "Mommy" and the man who loved me enough to make my dream of motherhood come true.