Fears

First of all, this picture is of Isabella and her cousin Max. He is 4 months old now! He was just 3 weeks old when we moved here, I can't believe we've been here that long! Isabella LOVES Max! She talks about him all the time and says his name very clearly. This was a few days ago when I was watching him for a few hours, I put Max in Isabella' boppy pillow (soon to be Natalie's) and put on one of the Baby Einstein videos and Isabella curled up with him to watch. Overall she's pretty gentle with him, but sometimes she gets a little over excited and is a little rough. I am hoping she'll have the same like of her new sister in a few weeks. She can be a little jealous still if I hold him, but she does pretty good.

Well, I don't have any funny stories to share this week, I haven't gone out and bought anymore candy bars, I can tell you that for sure! And I can also proudly say that there are still candy bars that remain in my house, we haven't devoured them all, but they are in little plastic sandwich bags rather than their original wrappers because I have sent for my free t-shirts. It said on the form that it took 10-12 weeks for the t-shirts to arrive, so I'll have to wait a while until I can post my "free" t-shirts!

The weeks are flying by, they really are! I think it is because I have packed them so full of things to do before Natalie comes. Really at this point anything on my "to-do" list is a luxury if it gets done before she comes, I just like to be prepared and make things as easy on myself as possible. Who knows what kind of recovery I will have, so if these things are already done than I am just one more step ahead of the game.

Well, as my title suggests I have been thinking most about my fears concerning this upcoming birth lately. It is interesting to me to read my journal before Isabella was born and read about what I was afraid of then. It is totally different this time. Last time I was most concerned about myself and what was going to happen to me. Now I am most concerned with Isabella's reaction to the upcoming changes and making sure that this is a positive experience for her.

I have been trying to teach Isabella to sit next to me, not on me, in preparation for my recovery from surgery, but that doesn't seem to be going over too well. I am really working on it because it isn't going to be an option for a few weeks after surgery. I am so afraid she's going to be really mad at me for bringing a new baby into the house and not allowing her to sit on my lap. I guess that is something we'll have to deal with when the time comes. We talk all the time about the baby, and she loves taking care of her baby dolls - but this will be much different that talk and a toy. My sister is making her a matching diaper bag to mine and we're going to put some of her own items in it to care for her baby doll in hopes that she'll have fun caring for her baby right along side mommy and her's. I am also making her a special shirt to wear the day of the delivery that says "BIG SISTER" on it, and will make a big fuss over the fact that she's going to wear it the day her baby sister comes.

I know she'll eventually love Natalie and I really think since they're close in age the odds are good that they'll be good friends. I just think the first few weeks might be rough and I'll need to make sure she doesn't feel left out. Well...I know this entry hasn't been very entertaining, maybe next week I'll have a better story to share. I hope everyone is having a great week!

~jen