Parenting the Second Time Around

Here is a picture of my silly girl and my sweet girl!


It seems to happen to all parents, our first child is born and we are instantly consumed with making sure this little one is safe, fed and loved. We hardly let them out of our sight for the first year of their life and when we do we feel incredible guilt and anxiety over that decision. We watch them when they sleep, we watch them when they eat, infact the majority of our day is spent staring at them! Then they grow a little older and we find ourselves searching the net for answers to questions we may have about anything from teething to the type of bowel movements they've been having. Our entire life is wrapped up in the every movement of our first born. Then number 2 comes into the picture!

There is still guilt when you leave number 2 for the first time, but instead of anxiety over if they'll be cared for as well as you would the thought that keeps crossing your mind is, "Why aren't I more worried and anxious?! Why am I so happy to have a few moments alone, I should be missing my baby!" It isn't a matter of love, because you love both children more fiercely than you could have ever imagined...it just seems that when it comes to the day to day care you have relaxed a little, and honestly, in my opinion, that is probably a good thing for both parent and child.

When Isabella was an infant I spent hours just staring at her, but I hardly have the time to do that with Natalie. I of course have spent many a moments in awe of the beauty and blessing of my second born, but during the day she tends to spend much of her time in the bouncy seat in the corner while mommy tends to the needs of Isabella. Don't get me wrong, Natalie has yet to have a need that hasn't been met, I am just noting the differences in parenting styles or behavior when it is the second time around. It seems to me to be designed perfectly, you spend all your time observing every movement of number one, researching every little whimper and milestone so that when more children follow you've done the lab work and you are highly experienced in the field of childhood. And if you come upon a situation you didn't experience with #1 you know exactly where to look so you don't waste precious time in search of what is most likely a simple answer.

So you may tend to think, "Poor Natalie she sits alone in her bouncy all day!" But I like to think that Natalie has the advantage over Isabella because she has 2 parents with experience under their belt, she has 2 parents who have learned from their mistakes with #1 and won't repeat them on #2. She has 2 parents that are more relaxed about day to day infant care, and in that relaxed atmosphere love and peace reside. (of course Isabella benefits equally from that relaxed attitude which developed sometime between the time she was born and now.)

Have a great week!

Jen